It has come to my attention that Lieutenant Commander Vorpak is suffering through the yearly "mating season" that his species must endure. I mention this only because he's been abusing his position as the ship's Chief Teleport Officer by teleporting the more attractive female crew members to his Main Teleport Chamber. Obviously this hasn't made him very popular with said crew members. Heck, I don't think the creepy little dude has even gotten to first base yet! Distraught with failure, he's sealed himself up in the Main Teleport Chamber for the last two days. Although no one's gone missing yet, we've received scattered reports of meals teleporting away from people's hands and female crew members finding mysterious "mixed tapes" on their bedroom dressers.