IMPROV DIPLOMACY

SPACE DATE 2234.247

We've arrived on the planet Rigmatel and I'm frankly at my wit's end.  We've just discovered that we don't have the native species' language programmed into our translator wands, which naturally makes it impossible for us to speak to anyone.  This is creating a great deal of difficulty as our mission is to bring peace to these savages.  I'm instructing my crew to create detailed sketches and to prepare an impromptu stage play which that will hopefully convey the story of our advanced technology and modern values.